EWTN Acquires ChurchMilitant.com

24 Sep

EWTN has announced the acquisition of ChurchMilitant.com and its’ vast Library of Instructional Programming, with the Exception of “God First” with Fr Paul Nicholson, complaining that “Fr Nicholson is too unusual, even by Canadian Television Practices & Standards, which means that even CBC doesn’t want his programmes.”
“This Is A HUGE Moment for us here at EWTN”, proclaimed Raymond Arroyo, “What with Michael Voris’ Ability to tone down criticism of any Pope, even if that Pope proclaims that the Holy Trinity has 5 Persons.The new nightly Half Hour ‘Vortex’, should prove most interesting. And on EWTN Radio, Mrs Niles will have a two hour phone in show, titled ‘Whatever That’s Worth'(Acknowlegement Christopher Ferrara). These shows will be coming from The Brand New EWTN Ferndale Warehouse Studio” where both On Air & Web Programming will occur.”
The ChurchMilitant.com “Cub Reporters” declined comment, though Ryan Fitzgerald commented “Man, What Sellouts!”

Timothy Michael Cardinal Dolan, Archbishop of New York, breathed a Sigh of Relief, before exclaiming “BRAVO, Mike, We’ll Be Glad To Have Ya.”

M

Kyrie Elaison

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4 Responses to “EWTN Acquires ChurchMilitant.com”

  1. Bro. John-Paul Ignatius Mary 2015/09/26 at 18:53 #

    funny

  2. Stephen Dalton 2015/09/27 at 14:22 #

    Gee, if EWTN ever did acquire CM.COM, Voris and Shea would be forced to get along, since they would be on the same team.

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